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- Melanie
This morning�s dream was decidedly odd. My brother, mother and I were flying to California on Eastern Airlines. We have seats in the front. The very front. There is no closed-off cockpit; we sit right behind the pilot, with a full view out the front window. For some reason I am terrified of this. It seems to me that when we take off, the view will be like approaching the top of a roller coaster, and I�m terrified that I�ll have a major attack of vertigo once I see the huge expanse of sky before me. My brother is annoyed by my irrational fear, and takes a seat far away from me at the end of the opposite row. For some reason we are all carrying old fashioned glasses with wine in them. I am also panicking about our ability to hang on to the glasses without spilling them during the flight. My mother suggests that we put the glasses on the cabin floor. I put one on the floor, but am still holding two more (the number of glasses we each have changes during the dream). The pilot enters through a door to the right in front of us (like the front door of a bus -- he climbs up steps from the door). We begin to taxi toward the runway, and one of the glasses near my mother�s feet slides down the steps and breaks. One of the glasses near my brother�s feet is sliding around on the floor. I am simultaneously worrying about the broken glass, the potential broken glass, and my impending panic attack when we take off. The dream ends as we make the turn on to the runway and begin to accelerate for takeoff.
Several weird things:
- I am not afraid of flying. Noty in the least. And the vertigo I have is just organic dizziness, not the Jimmy Stewart-type dizziness/fear phobia thing.
- My brother is the really phobic one in the family. For him to be annoyed by my phobias is pretty amusing.
- My skewed dream perception of what the takeoff will look like.
- The Eastern Airlines thing. I discovered over the weekend (more on that in a bit) that Eastern was the carrier my parents took when the came to pick me up in Florida after I was born.
- I would consider it terribly d�class� to serve wine in old fashioned glasses!
Eastern Airlines. We were over my parents� house for dinner on Sunday and to drop off our tax stuff with Dad. After dinner, I began puttering around looking for stuff to throw away, and decided to open the ancient filing cabinets that live in the basement. Where I found cancelled checks dating from before I was born, and including the one for the Eastern flight, dated Leap Day, 1968. I took them upstairs and began going through them, and Dad told me I couldn�t throw them out. Because he had to shred them first. These accounts no longer exist. The BANKS no longer exist. We haven�t lived at that address for THIRTY YEARS, and the last name printed on the checks is our old one. The man is an accountant � he has some knowledge as to how long it is necessary to keep certain documents. WHY, G-d? WHY????
I then tackled the storage cabinet under the basement stairs. Old Halloween decorations. Empty boxes from two coffeemakers and a food processor. A full box, containing an ancient meat slicer that weighs about 20 pounds. An old rabbit ear antenna. Gift wrap and party supplies from when I was a kid (I remember that Raggedy Ann-themed party). A bag of toiletries of my grandmother�s. She died in 1983. (I�m thinking that Lanacane ointment and Noxema are no longer useable, right? GAHHHH!) And my lord, the dirt and dust! Dad kept plying me with Allegra, because he was sure the mess would bring on the mother of all allergy attacks.
While the packrat gene cannot be technically passed down to me, I am still my parents� daughter, at least by assimilation. Which is why I only kept three checks as opposed to THIRTY EIGHT YEAR�S WORTH. Good lord. I can almost see their house imploding someday like the House of Usher, due to the combined physical and psychic weight of ALL. THAT. CRAP. As G-d is my witness, if we ever buy a house, I REFUSE to let that happen. NEVER. Look at all those caps. The girl is ADAMANT.
Oy. Mom and I also looked through old slides (where I was once again reassured of my incredible cuteness as a child, at least prior to the Great Pixie Cut Horror of 1974) and she found some film that may be of me that she�d like us to play on Jim�s old projector, and then have transferred to video. Gotta preserve all the incredible cuteness we can!
And then she asked me if Jim was upset that he was never going to be a father. WTF??? Another missasumpropriation by The Mom Thing. I told her that nothing had been ruled out, that there was still time, that I was really still ambivalent about the whole thing, all the usual jazz. Then I asked her if she was upset at the thought that we might not �give� her grandkids. She said she was resigned to it. Resigned. Sheesh. I mentioned my brother, and she said she wasn�t sure if they�d procreate either. �Well, they did talk about starting with cats�.� Hey, she likes cats�would grandcats be so bad?
I found out at 9:00 last night (during rehearsal) that we would be doing a photo shoot at 9:30. Niiiiiice advance warning, there. I�m sure I looked appropriately plain for a Puritan woman. 
This is their third season in operation, and I�m getting the feeling that they�re still �finding their way.� Well, as long as the check clears�.
Things to do, things to do. A possible lunch with The Fabulous today (haven�t heard from her yet), banking, a hair cut, maybe a trip to IKEA. Rehearsal tomorrow afternoon, maybe the gym, maybe some laundry. Easter Sunday, we�ll dine on some of our recent Omaha Steaks booty (courtesy of my folks), then go spend the rest of the day with Bill & HB.
Have a good weekend!
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