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- Melanie
Hm. Perhaps I shouldn't be posting this, but I'm going to. I feel a need to vent.
I have a friend, she's a very good friend and a supportive one, but she said something that ticked me off a bit. Maybe this is a case of hormones talking, but hey, hormones need an open forum too.
We were discussing an upcoming show with a director she doesn't know, and I told her I'd mention to him that she's interested in it. She replied that I shouldn't say she's thinking of auditioning, just that she was inquiring. And she went on to say, "I am getting spoiled, but I love having roles handed to me whenever possible and skipping the whole audition process."
Well.
That's nice for her. She's "lucky" in that regard. I have another (male) friend who asks me on occasion, "Are you going down for that show, or are you pre-cast?" I finally emailed him, "How many times do I have to tell you, I DO NOT HAVE A PENIS!!! Have you ever known me to be pre-cast in anything??!! Have you ever known me to have my whole scheduled planned out a year in advance??" Pre-casting in this small incestuous Long Island theatre community is fairly rampant, and most often involves men (hence the penis remark) or "established" actresses.
I have been doing this for ten years. I've said to several people lately that I feel I'm finally coming into my own as as a performer. These past two years of voice lessons have served me extremely well, and my teacher and I have worked very hard to accomplish all we have.
I have never been pre-cast.
Oh, I've heard "I'm interested in you for this role; if you're interested, come on down." And "You're interested? If no-one else comes down that I like, I'll call you." And "Just come to the callback." Which is nice in and of itself.
But I just don't understands what it is about some people and apparently isn't about me that keeps me from being in that "upper tier" of actresses.
I mean, it's not that I want to have things handed to me on a silver charger. Pre-casting actually makes me uncomfortable. I was always taught that auditioning is an actor's job. Show them who you are, what you can do, that you are an actor with a brain and that you are the right person for the role. That's your job. And that's why I always audition. Why I choose material that shows I have a grasp of what the character is about. Why I choose stuff that isn't run-of-the-mill. I'm known to some as the girl who sings weird songs from shows that nobody does. I like that.
Without the challenge of an audition, you get complacent. I see people who fall back on the same shtick they've been doing for years. I see people who basically just play themselves onstage. How do you grow if you do that?
I really don't want "divine dispensation." I'd just like to know where I stand.
I feel like having a chat with the producer of the theatre where I most often work, and asking her if there's anything I should be doing (I mean other than fits of hysterical weeping, backstabbing and sleeping my way to "the top") to make myself a little bit more marketable.
This also comes out of dissatisfaction with the little revue thingy that I'm doing next weekend, and the feeling that I've gotten the short end of the stick. There are eight people, and I feel like I have the least amount to do. So it's like, why am I here? Why'd you ask me? Okay, it's 45 minutes out of my life, grin & bear it.
So how much should you be expected to bite your tongue around friends? My problem being that this is a touchy enough subject with me that I might just "go off" if I try to discuss this with her. And she's a good enough friend that I really wouldn't want to do that. But I'd like her to know that it hurts to be on the other side.
And that it'd be nice not to go through life as "a woman who ain't been asked."
Thass a quote, son.
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